Monday, February 14, 2011

FDA Bans Most Natural Supplements

Is Margaret Hamburg's recent column in Spooftimes.com funny or beyond sad?  You be the judge.

"The US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) announced today that they are banning 88% of all natural supplements from the market “for the good of the consumer”.

“There are man made pharmaceuticals that work as well or better than many of these herbal remedies”, said FDA Commissioner Margaret Hamburg.  “We simply want what’s right for the consumer, the insurance companies and the pharmaceutical industry!”

Hamburg pointed out that Lipitor and Crestor are just as good as garlic and bee pollen at lowering bad cholesterol levels.

“We can’t take garlic off the market as a flavor enhancer”, Hamburg continued.  “But we don’t want them making outrageous claims, even if they’re true, about its health benefits“.

Hamburg also said that the anti-arthritis mixture of Glucosamine and Chondritin will be banned from shelves as there are other arthritis treatments and pain relievers currently in development that are nearly as effective.

“We have vital industries to maintain!” Hamburg insisted.  “These supplements are destroying the stock market!”

Hamburg said she practices what she preaches by eating fatty foods and taking cholesterol lowering medications each day."